“I no longer need you to fuck me as hard as I hated myself.”
Make love to me
like you know I am better
than the worst thing I ever did.
I’m new to this.
But I have seen nearly every city from a rooftop
I have realized
that the moon
did not have to be full for us to love it,
that we are not tragedies
stranded here beneath it,
that if my heart
every time I fell from love
I’d be able to offer you confetti by now.
But hearts don’t break,
they bruise and get better.
We were never tragedies.
We were emergencies.
You call 9 – 1 – 1.
Tell them I’m having a fantastic time.
I feel lonely. I only have a few good friends and they are wrapped up in their lives. I want some new friends, ones who dont forget about me when they get busy or in relationships, ones I admire and respect. I want real friendships not half assed acquainitences. Don’t get me wrong I have a few friends whom I’m grateful for but fuck today is just a bad day. Its funny when you break up, people are all loving and supportive the first couple weeks and then they think I’m fine. Well I’m not fine, I think this is almost harder, that knawing pain that just constantly sits there. I just want to crawl in a hole for awhile. Im tired of trying. Im tired of swinging back n forth erraticaly with feeling good and not good. Im tired in every cell of my being on ALL levels.